One can only underestimate the impact of surrendering on one’s life. Being able to surrender is truly transcendental. Let me expand on this.
I invite you to explore the thought: the only constant in life is change. For me, this is a fact. How we handle ourselves while facing the ever-present changes in our lives defines the quality of our lives, our perspective on our obstacles and our opportunities. It is the one thing that makes us who we are, in the present moment, where action can be taken – this not being possible in the past, or the future, because in most cases action-wise it is out of our reach.
Often we think that change is like luck. It just comes and goes, and you can not do anything. It is like a mythical creature, sometimes a blessing, other times a curse, often one in the other one’s disguise. And our way of living embraces this approach and even feeds it. We believe that just because something always was like that, it will never change, neither for the better nor for the worst. And when something does change, it happened out of the blue, without any signs, any subtle flags of change. Yet change, at least in our own life is traceable, I believe. And it can also be triggered.
Change is traceable on one condition: if we are present. Whatever you do: are you present in the process of doing that? Are you aware of what, how, where, when and with whom you are doing what you are doing? For me change is like sailing: you have to be aware of the wind and the currents of the water to do it optimally and for an extended amount of time. This is how sailors earned the wisdom of the waters: they were observing the interactions of the water and the wind with the ship while learning from the older sailors until they were able to navigate the water themselves. They would not be able to earn that wisdom, if they wouldn’t present and we are also unable to track the change in our lives regularly, if we are busy with the past, or concerned about the future. Only in the dimension of decades, or years, we are able to see how we changed, usually with a bitter taste in our mouths.
Change can be triggered, and the trigger is as underrated as the importance of being able to change, to adapt to the given conditions (to be resilient). The not-so-secret path towards triggering change leads through accepting reality. Accepting what is there is conflicting. In order to be able to accept we have to have the courage to admit, that we are not perfect and that we have a certain set of responsibilities no matter the context, that we can also influence things, no matter the context. And we just simply have to feel, believe, and know that it is, what it is and beyond the fact that there are in the present moment many obstacles that make our life challenging at the moment, there is also a myriad of opportunities to influence what we can influence and to change what we should change.
Once we accept, that it is as it is now, we can continue the sentence: it is good now, because…. Or it is a lovely opportunity in this situation in which I find myself because… Or, if these things sound fake-optimistic, unfitting to your current situation, then just say: right now there is space for… and something happens, which is at the border with magic: just because you acknowledge the opportunities beyond the obstacles or the space where something good can happen: they become real and activated. They become available for you.
Only by accepting that we don’t know, can we discover something new. Only when our curiosity overpowers our fear of change, fear of the unknown we allow ourselves to access that vast amount of potential in us.
How are you handling change? How is it for you to surrender, to accept? What do you need, in order to speed up your surrendering process? Is it hard for you to start implementing actions after the process of acceptance kicked in? What do you usually do to make this chain of actions optimal?
And, as usual: here is a story for you about my surrendering. Be gentle with your thoughts towards me and towards yourself, please. A couple of years ago I found myself in a critical situation: I felt very alone, in many ways, although I was surrounded by loved ones. I lost my father, I had to handle some of his businesses abroad, while I felt quite lost in my career and my private life also needed some healing. I was struggling, I was having this feeling that it is me against the world, me versus life itself, and I am on the losing end. Whatever I started to do, didn’t really work out, all my plans were shattered in one way or another meanwhile, my partner was successful in the same field. I felt unseen, unappreciated, and unwanted. Sounds quite bad, right? I felt depressed, I did not have energy, and I was dragging myself through life, it seemed. All the knowledge and wisdom I thought I own was somehow out of my reach, regarding how to navigate this delicate journey of mine. I don’t know, when exactly, but there was a time interval when I stopped judging myself. I just paid attention to what is, around me, I made sure to move, to go for a jog or for a walk in nature, and to do some yoga as often as I could push myself, I did my best to be kind to myself and to accept that this is as it is now, and it will change, there is no other way. Slowly I started to feel less unsafe, and then, eventually, I felt safe enough to do some things systematically, on a regular basis. This process still hasn’t ended, and I feel, that 2023 will be the breakthrough year where things start working out. And I love this feeling, not just because it is true, but also because I worked hard for this, I asked for help and the support of many people.
You have to know, that it isn’t easy for me to share these thoughts with you. To share my stories with you: takes some humbling vulnerability. Yet I want to motivate you, dear reader, to handle your life, and also to let you know: you are not alone. We are never alone, no matter how it looks like.
Were there some familiar elements in my story? Do you experience similar symptoms? Please do everyone a favour: reach out. Don’t isolate yourself. Tell the loving, caring, supportive people around you about your struggles. Every one of us has our struggles. Maybe by sharing yours you will inspire others to share theirs. Thank you for reading this text.
What do you need to accept change? What do you need, to surrender? Write it down, and make it happen. The perfect moment is now.
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